"Like a Girl" and Proud of It

Ohhh Morgan Rielly. Most of the country already hates the Leafs. Why are you making it even easier to hate them?

On February 20th, 2015, Reilly of the Toronto Maple Leafs was asked by a reporter to describe what it was like going through yet another Leafs' seasonal debacle. His response, as captured above, sparked a lively debate on social media due his use of the word "girl" with a negative connotation attached to it.

The popularity of the phrase "like a girl" is so common in society, that many of us don't even think twice when we use it in conversation. Even as girls and as women, it has taken time for us to realize that behind that phrase is an insult; one that is as offensive as any racial or gender-based slur that society has worked to eliminate from our vocabularies. Only now is there a push for public awareness and change around using this phrase. As the Always - #LikeAGirl campaign asks: "when did doing something 'like a girl' become an insult?"

Dumping on the Leafs is a national pastime in Canada. The cliche is true - we ride our sleds to Tim Horton's, buy a Double Double and a donut, and we sit there and bash the Leafs all day long. And let's be honest, the Leafs have given us a lot of material to cover in recent years. So maybe Morgan Rielly's comments garnered an unfair amount of attention. Tons of people still say things like "you hit like a girl" or "stop being such a girl." They do not incite a national debate on social media and on the airwaves of national TV and radio about it. Rielly did. Because Reilly is a role model. By virtue of the fact that Morgan Reilly is a hockey player on one of the league's most storied franchises, when Reilly or his team mates talk, people listen. Kids listen. And kids imitate. 

We grew up on the phrase "like a girl" being an insult. But for the next generation of young women to grow up with that phrase carrying the same connotation would be a shame, because it would mean that we haven't made any progress. And that is not true, because we all know how much progress has been made. We are all athletes. We see examples of physical and mental toughness all around us in our team mates, opponents, coaches, and in ourselves. We see it in our bosses and in women in positions of leadership and power everyday. People say it all the time: "women are more emotional than men." And again, they say it like that's a bad thing. In reality, emotion, passion, commitment, loyalty, care, compassion, and love are all qualities that go a long way in the world. They create a less clinical and more cohesive environment to work in. And women don't take anything for granted. We work hard every day to represent ourselves and our fellow women, because we know that one wrong step can set everything back by a decade. 

This article isn't mean to rag on Morgan Reilly. That's been done...a lot. It is meant to make all of us think twice when we use negative phrases in everyday conversation. It is about changing our mindset to being proud of who we are and about honing our skills as women. All of these traits that have been seen as negatives and as drawbacks in the past are actually great traits to have. And if there was any doubt about what women are capable of achieving, just remember that Morgan Reilly's comments came on the one-year anniversary of this: 

Beer League (Injury) Blues

I have been injured for 8 weeks and have not played hockey in 6 weeks. I'm like a bear who has not been fed. Approach with caution.

Hockey players have a reputation across all sports as being the amongst the toughest athletes out there. They play with broken bones and torn ligaments, and only when an injury is severe do they agree to being stretchered off the ice. It's a point of pride with hockey players to leave the ice on their own two feet.

As someone who plays at the recreational level, I feel this same point of pride. The fighting spirit that pushed Hayley Wickenheiser to play through the 2014 Olympics with a broken foot and Meaghan Mikkelson to play with a broken hand exists in recreational players too. I have seen it with my own eyes. I have played through pain and discomfort too, but nothing like what I've been through with this latest injury. The whole process of being injured and missing hockey for the first time in 12 years has opened my eyes to what the process is like and it has definitely given me more respect for any athlete at any level who comes back from injury.

From a psychological standpoint, there are several stages of dealing with an injury. Once we get over our denial and admit that we actually are injured, we have to go through the process of determining what medical services we require, where to get them from, and how much they're going to cost. As rec leaguers, this stage varies vastly from the elite sports realm. In the world of Olympic, professional, and college sports, each team carries their own trainers who are available to examine and treat players as soon as an injury occurs. In the case of leagues like the NHL, players don't even have to wait for appointments with specialists or to get advanced scans like CT's or MRI's. Such is not the case when you're just an "Average Jane." No one cares that you're missing games and are desperate to get back to being with your team. No one cares that you're in pain severe enough that it's affecting your job and the rest of your life. You are about to join a long list of fellow Average Joes and Janes in waiting for the treatment you need. As someone who has recently been through this experience, here is some advice I would give to my fellow injured rec leaguers:

1) Get the treatment you need right away. Don't delay. I delayed because I was concerned about costs and was hesitant to go through so many time consuming appointments. Delaying treatment only made my injuries worse, and it actually made my healing time and the cost of my overall treatment much higher.

2) Google is not a doctor. Plugging your symptoms into WebMD and waiting for a computer-generated diagnosis doesn't make it an accurate diagnosis. I would suggest getting a proper diagnosis from a medical professional. Once your injury has a name you can always Google treatment ideas or suggestions for stretches/workouts you can do.

3) Find the right practitioner. You want someone who listens to you and treats you like a person not like a case. You also want someone who recognizes that you're an athlete. One of my chiropractors told me that she was going to put me on the same treatment plan as the 80-year old woman who she saw before me that day. Needless to say, I was offended.

4) Take accurate notes about all of your symptoms. Every sensation you feel that is not "normal", make note of it so that you can relay it to your practitioner(s). The more clues you give them, the easier it will be for them to nail down the source of your discomfort. It might even save you the need to get certain scans.

5) Be careful with self-treatment. Again, let a professional tell you what exercises to do. Don't formulate stretches and exercises yourself that you think might be helpful. They might actually be making things worse.

6) Be patient. The pro's have a team of people who have to sign off on the player before they return to game action. Us Average Janes don't have that. Several times during my 6 weeks without hockey, I considered going back and playing. At one point I found out that one of my teams lost their last game pretty badly and it made me want to forget my "plan of patience" and just get back out there. But then I thought how helpful I would be if I was playing at 50% health, and how much damage I might potentially do if I forced my body to do something it clearly wasn't ready to do? Think of the bigger picture and the long term goal. Don't rush your body.

I wish a safe and healthy hockey season to all, but sometimes injuries are inevitable. For those times, I wish my fellow Average Janes a speedy and more importantly, a successful recovery. In the meantime, feel free to come join me in cage of unfed bears!

The Concussion Conundrum - How to take care of our players

Amanda Kessel will miss the entire NCAA season due to concussion symptoms

When it was announced by the Pittsburgh Penguins in January of 2011 that star player Sidney Crosby had suffered a concussion and that he would be out indefinitely, NHL analysts both professional and amateur took to the airwaves and blogosphere to analyze the injury and its repercussions. It seemed that for every game Crosby missed, the speculation, rumours, and theories just intensified. An injury to a superstar player and league poster boy took the concussion epidemic from being a sweep-under-the-rug nuisance to being the most talked about news story in the sport. At one point "Crosby Concussion" was even given it's own spot on the TSN ticker.

Fast forward to 2014, and another star hockey player has suffered a concussion that will see them miss significant time. Yet somehow, this player's news has barely made headlines. The player's name is Amanda Kessel, and to most people, the name probably only rings a bell because of it's similarity to that of Toronto Maple Leafs star Phil Kessel. Yes, Amanda Kessel is Phil's sister. But she is also a star hockey player in her own rights. Amanda is a gold medalist at both the World Championships and the 4 Nations Cup tournaments. She was part of the silver medal winning Team USA at the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics. Beyond the national team, she has led the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers to back-to-back NCAA titles, and she won the Patty Kazmaier Award as the nation's top female collegiate player in 2011.

The reason Kessel's injury is important is because of the implications it has on other female athletes. When we think of concussions, we think of them being sustained as the result of big men being hit by even bigger men. The reality is, concussions are sustained in all different ways by all different types of people. In fact, research suggests that female hockey players at the collegiate level are at a greater risk to suffer a concussion than their male counterparts [1]. And yet, concussions in female sports are routinely misdiagnosed and overlooked. From talking to fellow hockey players at various levels of the game, it is astounding to hear how many of them were prematurely cleared to return to the ice after having suffered a concussion. In the cases of a few players, they were back on the ice within minutes. This could have occurred for a variety of reasons. Maybe the concussion test was administered too soon after initial impact and symptoms hadn't yet surfaced. Or maybe the player misreported their symptoms to avoid being pulled from the game. In the sad case of some, symptoms were disregarded because the coach needed the player back on the ice. In a few cases, this hasty decision saw careers come to an untimely end.

So what can we all do to help ourselves, our teammates, and our players, not fall victim to this epidemic? The good news is, we can look out for one another without having to first become brain scientists. The Pocket Concussion Recognition Tool can be used by parents, coaches, or even fellow team mates as a way to determine the presence of a concussion. It involves a basic line of questioning, as well as just observing behaviours that the patient may be exhibiting. An alternative test, the SCAT 3 - Sport Concussion Assessment Tool - is to be used by medical professionals only. However, portions of it, like the basic memory questions for example, can be administered by anyone to help determine a player's well being. These tools are by no means a black and white way of determining the presence of a concussion, but they are a way of quickly evaluating symptoms in a setting where doctors and specialists may not be around.

The player's best interest should always be number one when determining whether or not they should be cleared to go back onto the ice. It is not about getting them back into the game without missing a shift. Any athlete will tell you, they'd rather miss a shift or a few games and get the care they require, because the alternative is that they miss a full season or possibly a career. It should be noted that any player with a suspected concussion should seek medical advice as soon as possible. But if the above mentioned tests can prevent players from being rushed back into action and save careers from coming to premature ends, it means the sports community has succeeded in looking after their own people.

Go outside and get a tan! The case against year-round hockey

Hayley Wickenheiser at the 1998 Winter Olympics and 2000 Summer Olympics

Back to school commercials on TV, gleeful parents engaging in back-to-school shopping in anticipation of finally having a quiet household again, and grouchy kids begrudgingly following along, knowing their days of freedom will soon be over...it must be the end of summer. For most, the arrival of September brings with it a change in schedules and routines. For us hockey players, perhaps September is the month where we return to our routines. Practice days, training days, travel days, game days, and rest days. All 7 days of the week might soon fall into one of those categories. If the off-season has been spent the right way, the return to hockey should be an exciting one. Players should be "feeling the itch" to get back on the ice for a new season of hockey. If you're not "feeling the itch" perhaps it is your body and your brain telling you that you need to change up your off-season activities.

The concept of year-round athletics is debated in sports circles almost as much as year-round schooling is debated in academic ones. Should kids be training all year round or should they be given a break to do other things and pursue other interests? In some senses, a hiatus from hockey during the summer may seem like a bad idea. Players spend all year improving their skills, developing their hockey IQ, and reaching their peak physical conditioning. Why then would they waste all of that by taking 2 or 3 months away from hockey? That is the rationale behind why some parents and coaches opt to have their kids in hockey year round. But there is a flip side to that too.

In most sports, peak performance isn't reached until well after puberty. Studies show that female athletes don't reach peak performance until age 27 (1) , and males (specifically in the NHL) don't peak until age 28 or 29 (2). There is a myth that if players do not specialize in one sport early, they will not be good enough to make it to the pros when it's time for them to make that leap. This is far from true. Almost on cue for this blog, this tweet was posted by USA Hockey a few moments ago:

USA Hockey Magazine‏@USAHMagazine I would encourage playing other sports and not dedicating yourself to year-round hockey. Dan Bylsma #usahlevel5

Here are a few reasons why year-round hockey is not a good idea:

1. We all know that kids get bored pretty easily - (think of the "are we there yet!?" question and how often it gets asked during long trips). Kids are just as likely to enjoy playing competitive hockey every day as they are to enjoy eating the same food every day. Even if that food is ice cream, they will eventually tire and ask for something else.

2. Physical development - Playing different sports strengthens different muscle groups. It is important for young kids to strengthen all parts of their bodies and not just one or two areas. Often times, the motions required to play one sport will compliment the motions of another sport too, so trying new sports is a great way to learn different skills while still working on improving at your "main sport". Henrik Lundqvist, goalie for the New York Rangers, has recently taken up tennis as a way to strengthen all the muscle groups required for the lateral movement of a goalie (3). 

3. Mental and physical burnout - Hockey is a fast and exciting game. It should never feel routine or inconvenient. But when you overdo it, there will be days where the motivation to get back on the ice is lacking. There is no way kids will perform at their best if they're exhausted. Summertime is a great time to heal up the bumps and bruises that are inevitably sustained during a long season, and to refresh the brain and get it ready for the new season as well. If the body is tired, players will look for shortcuts. Their stride will become lazy, their shooting motions may become abbreviated, and they will look to just make it through games rather than to thrive and succeed in them.

4. Sports IQ - The ability to think the game of hockey is not only developed by playing hockey. Funnily enough, one can work on their Hockey IQ - their ability to read the game, make creative plays, anticipate the moves of opponents, etc. - by taking part in other sports too. Thinking tactically about one sport might yield some ideas about how to succeed at another.

Pertaining specifically to the sport of women's hockey, there is perhaps no better example of this whole concept than to examine one of its greatest players. Hayley Wickenheiser has 5 Winter Olympics medals, but she also represented Canada at the 2000 Summer Olympics in the sport of softball. If there was any doubt that time away from hockey is a good thing, looking back at Hayley's career should erase all of that. If being a multi-sport athlete didn't hold Hayley Wickenheiser back, it shouldn't hold the rest of us back either!

Losing a Necessary Evil on the Path to Winning.

Risk assessment is necessary for anyone in life who wishes to...well...live. As much as some people will do their very best to defy this very simple logic, the reality is that without the ability to evaluate the risk in an action or activity, human beings would be putting themselves in dangerous situations far too often for their own good. On a daily basis, we are called upon to judge the risk in a situation more often than we might even realize. "Is it safe to cross the street? Is it safe to turn left with the oncoming traffic? Is it wise to eat an entire pizza in one sitting (it's ok, we've all been there at least once!)." This same process of risk assessment happens in the world of sports. The concept of risk manifests itself in several ways for athletes. Obviously, there is risk in playing sports in the sense that one could get injured due to the physical nature of sports. It can also be said that some of the most successful athletes in the world are those who know how to successfully assess risk. "Do I pass this puck up the middle? Should I go for the buzzer-beating 3 pointer? Should I try going for the ace on 2nd serve when facing break point?"

There is one aspect of risk in the world of sports that might be underrated or less analyzed, but it certainly plays a large role in defining the journey of an athelte. Simply put, it is the risk of losing. Athletes are fuelled by the desire to win. It's why we work hard, make sacrifices, and push ourselves to the max. It's because we know that the thrill of winning will make it all worth it. As we all know though, one can't experience only victory in the course of an athletic journey.

So many emotions in one picture

As a recreational-level goalie for 10 years, I always used to tell people "hockey has given me so much. I have learned so much just by being a hockey player. I owe the game so much." This was certainly true, but what I didn't know was that I was about to do more learning in my 11th year of hockey than I did in the previous 10 combined. It was the summer of 2013. My team entered a tournament that would see us compete against teams from across Western Canada. Within a few minutes of watching the other teams warm up, we knew we were the heavy favourite to win. The cities which, in previous years, had iced pretty stacked lineups, had for whatever reasons, not been able to do so this year. Fast forward to the gold medal game. My team went undefeated through round robin play and we gave up only 1 goal in 5 games. We are now leading 1-0 and there is less than 1 minute left in the gold medal game. We're already picturing our winning celebration when...the other team ties it at the 45 second-mark. Before we know it, we're in a shootout and their final shooter scores to win the championship. I've lost games before. Lots of them. But this loss broke me. For a person who eats, breathes, and lives the game of hockey, I remember leaving the ice that day and ripping my gear off in the locker room as though it might have been on fire. For the first time in 10 years I wanted nothing to do with the sport. For the rest of the summer I got asked to play goal in different leagues for different teams. "Stop calling me," I'd say to every last offer. The entire summer was spent deliberately staying away from hockey. This was extraordinarily hard to do. As I realized, hockey governs my life. It's everywhere!

As September rolled around, I knew I had a decision to make. Fall/winter hockey was about to get going and my team was going to come calling soon. They are an incredible group of women and I couldn't imagine not playing hockey with them. As much as the wounds were still fresh, I paid my fees like everyone else and showed up for the first game. If felt strangely foreign to put on my gear and even more foreign to step into the net. As it worked out, we got outshot by a wide margin in that game and we lost it 4-1. As I got into the car after the game, my dad, who had decided to join me, looked at me anxiously. He was afraid this latest lost was the last straw for me. My first words to him after getting in to the car? "Dad, I freaking love this sport. How could I ever have imagined not playing!?" Just like that the love was back.

Losing is inevitable. It is heartbreaking, but it is inevitable. It is also necessary. In an interview after winning the 2011-2012 NBA Championship, LeBron James described how his team's heartbreaking loss the year before had helped pave the way for the win this year.

"It took me to go all the way to the top and then hit rock bottom, basically, to realize what I needed to do as a professional athlete and as a person," James said. "... I got back to being myself. Last year, I tried to prove something to everybody, and I played with a lot of hate. And that's not the way I play the game of basketball. I play with a lot of love, a lot of passion, and that's what I got back to this year."

Sports have a way of bringing us back down to our core basics. Just when we're getting a bit cocky or just when we're starting to play for the wrong reasons or with the wrong attitude, events will transpire to remind us of why we're here. When you have your heart broken by a sport but you decide to go back and do it all over again, knowing that there's a risk of the same heartbreak all over again, that's when you know you love the sport. In my case, that knowledge alone has helped me heal and it has given me something to be thankful for. Through this loss I was humbled. I also stopped playing the game for others. I stopped worrying about awards, stats, compliments, and accolades. Through this gutting loss I became a better player, a better teammate, and a better person. Only after nearly walking away from the sport can I now say that I have experienced hockey from all 360°. It took 11 years but I have now experienced winning, losing, and downright collapsing. One thing I know for sure: my worst day as a hockey player was still a great day. It's a day I wouldn't change or take back. I was playing a great sport with people I love. And knowing that heartbreak could happen all over again? Let's just say that I'm willing to take the risk!

Women's Hockey: Why Harry and Ron neeeded Hermione

Boys will be boys. There aren't many truer statements in the English language. And that statement holds true at any age. Honestly, it's the cutest dynamic to observe a little girl attempt to boss around her older brother. "Don't do that! Mommy's gonna get mad at you!" Equally endearing is to then observe the same dynamic between a couple who has been married for 50 years. "I told you not to do that. You're going to hurt yourself. You're not young anymore you know!?" The best way to look at it is with a Harry Potter reference. Without Harry and Ron, Hermione would have been a bookworm who holed herself up in the library and didn't have much fun in life. The boys showed her how to take some chances and enjoy some adventures. Without Hermione, Harry and Ron's plans to save the magical world from doom would have had major flaws and they'd likely all have been killed.

We've all been there

Men and women are wired differently, which is why both sexes are critical in determining the successes and failures of the world. It is always suprising therefore, when people look at certain tasks or roles and claim that in order for them to be done right they must be done "like a guy" or "like a girl." And if they are done the other way they are considered to have been done wrong. Why? And what does that even mean? "Throw like a girl." "Cook like a guy." We all know that some of the best chefs in the world are men. And we probably all know a few girls who can throw a wicked fastball. It's not about doing a task "like" anyone. It's about doing it in a way that works.

The growth of women's hockey in Canada and worldwide has been a popular issue in the past decade or so. Many people like to ask the question of what it will take to establish and run a successful pro women's league in North America and what it will take to fill the stands, sell tickets and merchandise, and to make that league profitable. Often, these questions are answered through a comparison. It is declared that in order for all of that to happen, female hockey players must be able to play the game like men. Clearly though, the people who say this don't know very much about the differences between men and women. It's not as easy as women skating a little faster or shooting a little harder. What makes the men's pro game so fast and so strong is the attitude and approach of the men who play it. While women are a more calculating and analytical group, men live in the moment. They do things in the moment because it seems right in that moment. They don't often stop to consider consequences because, to them, consequences don't matter. In the moment, men narrow in on one goal and it becomes their chief purpose to achieve it. Apply this principle to hockey and this is how the same play is approached by the different sexes:

There's a loose puck along the end boards and there's a race between two players to see who can get to it first.

 

Male player: Skate as hard as you can and as fast as you can. Get to that puck first at all costs.

 

Female player: Skate as hard as you can and as fast as you can...but...the opponent has a step on me and if I push her she'll go flying into the boards and it'll be a dangerous hit, not to mention that I'll probably get a penalty or even a suspension for it so maybe I should either angle her off or let her win the race and then use my body to take her off the puck so she can't set up a scoring play.

 

That's a lot to compute in just a few seconds. But yeah, the female brain does actually work like that. The concept of consequences is ever-present in the female brain. It doesn't mean we battle any less hard or want to win any less. It just means we approach things a little differently. To get women to play like men is not simply to have them lift more weights until they get stronger. It is to change the genetic imprint of how they are wired. So when people say that women's hockey will not be a marketable product until it is played like NHL hockey, that is to say that women's hockey will never be marketable. One of most gender-equal sports in the world both in terms of prize money and in terms of skill level is tennis. But even the greatest female tennis player in the world - Serena Williams - plays the game differently than Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal or Novak Djokovic. She's strong and fast and tactical just like the men but she executes differently. Women's hockey at the highest level, Canada vs USA, and even in the NCAA has shown what a great product it can really be. In an era where the NHL is making headlines for reckless plays that threaten to end players' careers prematurely, there is more and more of an appreciation developing for how the women play the game. The will to compete and to win is equal and there is still an element of growing the game and playing for the right reasons, which doesn't exist in men's pro hockey anymore.

The goals, the passes, and the saves in women's hockey still leave fans gasping in amazement. And the competitiveness and dramatic moments still have us on the edge of our seats. There is no right or wrong way to play hockey. There is a safe and an unsafe way to play it, but not a right or a wrong way. Just as in the NHL, where certain teams prefer to be more defensive-minded while others take more offensive risks, the same can be said for women's hockey. The sport is riding a wave with Canada's Sochi heroics still fresh in everyone's minds. It would be wrong to discredit that and to say that the sport is not yet marketable. When an entire nation comes to a standstill to watch an event unfold, that right there is a marketable sport. We must appreciate women's hockey for what it is and work to establish more teams and more countries that can play at the highest level. We must capitalize on this rather primal place that the sport is in right now because to be part of a period of growth is also to be part of a legacy.

 

 

 

Handle With Care: How to take care of your goalie

These games are the reason why "you play hockey like a girl" is an endangered-species insult. You should be lucky to play like these girls.

Adam Proteau - The Hockey News - 2014 Sochi Olympics 

How to treat a goalie :)

Hockey is an emotional sport. This emotion is not specific to women, but it certainly doesn't help our mental state to have to be put through the wringer in do or die situations. When a group of people puts their hearts and souls into achieving a common goal, and when that common goal is or is not achieved, the outcome can lead to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. And sometimes, the difference between experiencing a high versus a low can be miniscule - a couple of seconds, a couple of inches. This is what we sign up for when we become athletes. Whether at a recreational level or at a competitive level, we are resigned to the fact that we will, at some point in our careers, experience heartbreak. We work like crazy to avoid it at all costs, but it is still inevitable.

When these devastating losses occur, we as a group need to ask ourselves how we wish to respond. Looking around the locker room and seeing the agony on the faces of your team mates is always tough. It is natural to go through the process of asking "what could I have done better?" The experience is even tougher for goalies. It is often said that goaltending is the closest thing to an individual position in a team sport. By sheer virtue of the fact that goalies look different, play a different role, and often act different (hey we're not THAT weird!), they are primed to always be picked out of a crowd. When a team wins, the goalie is the hero. When a team loses, all eyes are on the goalie. It really is a double-edged sword. Unless you've been a goalie, it's hard to ever relate to the feelings of isolation that are felt when you've given up 5 goals, you're only half way through the game, the hockey net looks like a soccer net, and the puck looks like a marble. As members of a hockey team, everyone needs to get to know each other. When a large team of people come together there are always different personalities and energies within the group. Priority one is for each player and each coach to figure out what different personalities they have amongst them, and what role each of these personalities will contribute towards the overall group dynamic. Once that has been established, the team as a whole is more prepared to support one another through the good and through the bad times that inevitably come in the duration of a hockey season.

As a goalie for 11 years, here are some of my general tips on Goalie Handling 101:

DO:

• Take the time every now and then to chat with your goalie. Checking in with the goalie is like a staff meeting. Goalies often have a different perspective of how the team is playing because their vantage point is different. It's never a bad idea to make sure they are on the same page as the rest of the team.
• If you have an experienced goalie, feel free to turn to them during a game and ask "Hey, what are you seeing out there? Anything we should be doing differently?" It makes goalies feel appreciated for more than just their role as puck stoppers. And we like to be confided in. We want to help our team mates out.
• Listen to their suggestions. Goalies, especially experienced ones, are very specific in how they want their team to play defensively in front of them. Some want their D's to try and block shots in front of them, while others prefer to have a clear view of the shot so that there's no danger of a screen or deflection from their own team mate. If they tell you to move...MOVE!
• If a goalie is struggling and you see something they could improve upon, feel free to mention it...respectfully. If we can critique our players, certainly our players should be able to give us tips too.
• Sense when your goalie is in pre-game prep mode. It's great to talk a goalie's head off about your latest boy (or girl) troubles, how you're pretty sure you picked up a nasty infection from your pedicure place, or why you need to move out of your parents' house pronto. We care about our team mates and we'd love to counsel you through these clearly very tough times...but not right before a game! When your goalie is trying to get into "the zone" please leave them to it.
• Recognize what the goalie brings to the team. Often, especially at the rec league level, multiple goalies lobby to get onto the team, but one goalie is clearly the frontrunner to be the team's #1. Don't make that goalie split games 50/50 with a backup if one's skill level is clearly superior to the other. Give credit where it's due.

DO NOT:

• Light a goalie up in pre-game warm ups. You want your goalie to be confident heading into a game, and sending pucks whizzing past them, or worse, drilling them in the mask from close range, is not a good way to achieve confidence. Start with basic warm-up shots and get harder as they get more comfortable.
• Kid-glove a goalie. Most goalies who have played the position for a long time know their capabilities and limitations. They don't need anyone to point out that they had a bad game. And the worst is when a goalie has a bad game and all their team mates can say is "OMG you were AMAZING!" Thanks for the gesture, it's appreciated, but it's actually also a little humiliating. To use Roberto Luongo's favourite word, goalies are not looking for a "tire-pumping". We just like appreciation (when it is deserved) every now and then.
• Compare them to the back-up or to the goalie at the other end. Much like parenting multiple kids, nothing pisses a goalie off more than to be compared to someone else. There is a tremendous amount of respect between "tendys" but there is also a recognition that each goalie has their own style of play. While we are always trying to improve our respective games, telling us to mimic someone else is a great way to puncture our belief in our own game.
• Gloat. I once played in a league All-Star game where the format was All-Stars vs Alumni. A current team mate of mine who had been struggling to perform so far that season was put on the Alumni team because they needed a few extra players. She scored a few goals on me and then loudly and publicly gloated about it for the rest of the day. She'd walk by me (several times) and yell "oh yeah guys, it's coming back! I can feel it guys, the swagger is coming back and no one can stop me, I'm back baby, yeah yeah yeah." I know it was just a fun event, but goalies are competitive and we like to play well all the time. The irony was that in a few days, we'd be on the same team again, and all this player had done was gain confidence by trying to shatter mine. A friendly ribbing when you score on a team mate is always fun, but walk the line and don't cross it!

A confident goalie is a good goalie. It's not easy being on a team with so many different personalities and roles. But that is also what makes it great. Having that person who will jam tunes and have an impomptu dance-off in the locker room right before a big game to lighten the mood and ease the nerves, or having that person who will rally the troops after a tough loss and get everyone to believe in the team again - these are the people and these are the moments that make the losses so worth it. Because when they finally lead to a victory, in that moment, you realize that this is why you play on a team.